my cluster B parent died and I felt.... nothing much (1/2) [cc]

A two-part reflection on how I became indifferent to a destructive cluster B parent, examining the transformative processes children of malignant households go through between our birth into psychological chaos and our eventual departures. Names altered for anonymity.
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0:00 an uninteresting death
1:17 intense vs non reactions to death
2:33 to feel or not to feel
3:16 the road to indifference
4:27 defining cluster B
5:57 unfiltered individuals
6:16 masked individuals
7:21 ‘the imposter’
8:30 damage
9:43 parents vs anti-parents
10:52 growing up on a minefield
12:03 the infant brain
12:24 symptoms of damage
14:59 the misguided enabling parent
16:24 the accusations that didn’t take
17:11 discovery
17:19 burst of insight vs slow realisation
18:01 blocking our own discovery
18:27 a false benevolent image
20:09 two-faced
22:06 judgemental
23:02 envious
23:30 vain
24:20 delusional
26:26 cruel
28:39 eureka experience one
29:21 eureka experience two
30:33 the enabling parent seesaw
32:18 a patchwork parent
32:55 into defence....
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subtitles
Russian: Sergey Savelyev
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references and reading
Dentale, F., Verrastro, V., Petruccelli, I., Diotaiuti, P., Petruccelli, F., Cappelli, L. and Martini, P.S. (2015) Relationship between parental narcissism and children’s mental vulnerability: mediation role of rearing style. International journal of psychology & psychological therapy, 15 (3) pp.337–347
Fox, N.A. and Shonkoff, J.P. (2012) How persistent fear and anxiety can affect young children’s learning, behaviour and health. In Social and economic costs of violence: workshop summary. National Academies Press.
Perry, B.D. and Szalavitz, M. (2017) The boy who was raised as a dog — and other stories from a child psychiatrist’s notebook. Basic Books, New York.
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