How to Let Go Even if You Believe You Can't (7 TIPS)
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The 7 steps to finally
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Letting go is extremely easy when we let it be easy, but also letting go is extremely hard if we believe letting go is hard.
Now in this video I want to show you the seven tips that have made letting go so much easier for me, even at times when I believed letting go was impossible.
First tip with this is to become aware of what attachment you have and how that's helping you to avoid feeling certain emotions.
So this is an interesting part of the process is a lot of times what we do is we may have an attachment, maybe that attachment is to a belief about ourselves, maybe it's to a person, maybe it's to someone in your past, maybe the attachment is to people thinking about you in a certain way or what other people think about you.
And what happens is these attachments we think are there because we need whatever that is. The belief is if I have that person, then I'll be enough, then I'll be happy.
If these people feel this way about me and they give me the validation or approval or whatever it is, then I will finally feel enough and I can feel safe. The challenge with this is that if that's the belief, then of course it's hard to let go.
It's hard to let go when you believe somebody else has your eternal happiness, when you believe someone else has a part of you that you need. And the thing that makes all the difference in the world is when you become aware that the attachment you have is simply a distraction from feeling certain emotions.
And they say that a lot of times these emotions are either a mix of fear, grief or anger. So at a certain level, there may be an avoidance of looking at anger. Let's think about this and the whole nice guy persona thing.
Some people, especially empathic people, may identify as being a nice guy or a people pleaser. Normally under a nice guy or a people pleaser, what's happening is there's this fake facade that's (indistinct) up, the facade is, I'm gonna be very nice, and this also gets back to manipulation.
I read this book recently and it talked about manipulation and it uses words to understand the deeper meaning of it. Now think of it like this, think of like a nice guy who was once a baby, who was given the nipple of the mom and that was the source of everything.
That was the source of comfort, the source of nurturing, the source of nutrients. And then at a certain point, the nipple went away or it wasn't around.
And what happens is in order for some people to get their needs met, what they do is is they
manipulate, manipulation, manipulate other people so that they can get the teat, they can get the nipple.
And what they're doing is they're going over to people and they're like, "Are you the nipple? Are you the nipple?" And then other people feel that needy energy and they're like, get away from me, find your source within yourself.
And that's why that journey is normally you must be the source of your own happiness and let go of the belief, the attachment that everyone else become the teat.
So it's kind of a metaphor there, it's kind of a funny metaphor. But nonetheless, that's what a lot of times people pleasers and nice guys manipulation, man-nipple-asian they want the nipple in everything and they're looking for the source outside of themselves.
So the attachment is the belief, the attachment is the awareness. And a lot of times the attachment is a distraction from feeling your own emotions.
So the key to this is to actually, and this is something I've been doing recently when it comes to looking at any attachment I have and honestly feeling the patterns in my body that come from childhood and allowing myself to feel it, to heal it.
Because as you bring awareness into presence, that allows the energy to leave your body from the childhood dynamics.
Because here's an interesting thing, and this is the second one that I wanna share with you when it comes to the tip to letting go.
It's understanding that there really is no outside, there really even when you look at the triggers in your life, your friend not calling you back, somebody else saying something to you that ticks you off, somebody else showing up late.
Whatever the trigger is in your life, you think that it has to do with them. You might think there's a story there. People always do this to me, people are always late. Whatever the story is, the story is a reflection of an energy signature of an energy.
And the key is realizing that that energy, the story is not true. And the story, whatever the trigger is, that's a messenger.
2 سال پیش
در تاریخ 1401/10/26 منتشر شده
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