If Team Fortress 2 Was Updated by a Bot

Heavy is entrusted with creating the latest TF2 update, but in his keyboard-slamming haste, copies the patch notes into a Markov Text Generator and submits the results. What could go wrong?

The patch notes in this video were generated using a Markov Chain Text Generator, which you can use here: https://projects.haykranen.nl/markov/...

Patch notes taken from these posts (and also a few I generated on my own):
Reddit: the_latest_update_if_it_were_put_through_a_markov
Reddit: i_asked_a_markov_chain_text_generator_to_make_the
Reddit: the_totally_not_real_update_patch_notes_as

Narration and voice acting (excluding the TF2 classes) done by me. Special thanks to The Conceptionist for helping put together the ending shot. The "New Weapons Soldier" in the intro originally created by Genowhirl70.

GMod Addons used that I forgot to put in the credits:

Stop Motion Helper: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfile...
Advanced Camera: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfile...
Team Fortress 2 Bots: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfile...
Team Fortress Pill Pack (for playing as TF2 classes): https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfile...
Advanced Particle Controller (for explosions and stuff): https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfile...
Ragdoll Mover: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfile...
Easy Animation Tool (for putting game animations on ragdolls): https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfile...
Animated Prop Tool (same as above): https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfile...
Sleep'n'Wake Tool: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfile...
Turret Tool: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfile...

Source audio for the Soldier screaming in Polish: Crazy Russian Gamer loses his temper ...