Should women approach men | 3 reasons women should approach men
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Before I start this I just want to say pursuing a man is different from approaching him. This is about the approach. Making an initial impression so that the guy knows it’s safe to pursue. I’m not in favor of a woman pursuing a man for very long at all. As a man who has been approached by a fair amount of women I can tell you from experience it can be very effective.
I define approaching men as speaking to, introducing yourself, asking out on a date, overtly flirting with, making first contact or anything else that makes an impression on a man that you’ve noticed him. It’s actively breaking the ice as a potential suitor. It’s not getting a guys number and trying to woo him as men do women.
There’s so many people who will hate me for this. They are committed to the traditional roles established bnpetween men and women. They don’t believe a woman should ever approach a man or initiate contact with a guy. Their argument besides it not being unladylike is that if a guy is into or likes you he will approach you first and initiate contact. But as most of us know thats not always true. A lot of men aren’t very good at or willing to do a cold approach on women. The anxiety around rejection is something most people can identify with. For some reason people assume good men will always be able to overcome the fear or anxieties of approaching women. When it’s brought up that maybe a man is afraid, there is usually an attempt to emasculate any guy who would have such a fear. They say stuff like “a real man is going to approach you”, or “a real man is going to make it known”, which is often true but just as often isn’t. Furthermore a man’s willingness to put himself out there to be rejected has almost nothing to do with his propensity to love a woman adequately. It has more to do with his past experiences or lack there of. The vibes she gives him. His confidence level at that time. The type of opportunity that presents itself. How long the window to make the approach is and many other things. Some of the greatest men I’ve known had trouble approaching women.
Especially in situations where they had a long standing crush or had gotten familiar with a woman over time. The more you like her, the more dangerous she becomes to you. The more you fear her.
Now I don’t disagree that the challenge of initiating contact should be placed at the man’s feet. But I’m here to help women get more of what they want right? What I’m saying is if you see what you want in a guy and it lives in you to do so make contact. If the man you want hasn’t made a move and you feel empowered enough to do so initiate contact. Take control of your life.
There are a few good reasons do so. The first of which being...
Because you can’t pick who’s picking you.
I guess it’s just human nature but the overwhelming majority of women leave who they end up with in the hands of fate. Early on in life they learn to be chosen by men. There’s this blind trust that a good enough guy will approach them. Ultimately that doesn’t always happen. Many women after years of dating exclusively only the men who approached them, start to feel discouraged. Why is that though? It because in large part the types of men who get really great at approaching women have done so as womanizers. Many men who have a real reverence for women aren’t picking up enough to master the approach. If just by chance 4 players like the way you look in your yoga pants and approach you the right way. You respond well to them and are ultimately disappointed. They become the symbol of your experience and men even though they are more likely to approach you then a man who isn’t as sleazy. Any sorry as man can approach you. Why ignore a man of value because he hasn’t made the first move?
Your more likely to notice the man of your dreams than he is to notice you and do something about it. A lot well intentioned men get intimidated by the idea of rejection. Waiting to be approached just leaves a lot to chance. Women are missing out on a lot of potentially good relationships holding on to rigid ideas if the masculine and feminine roles about who talks to who first.
6 سال پیش
در تاریخ 1397/07/04 منتشر شده
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