The Dark Side of Young Mormon Marriage - Chandler Roberson Pt. 2 - 1523

Chandler Roberson was raised as a devout Mormon, and always wanted to be the best Mormon she could be.  In her teenage years Chandler had a few abusive relationships with Mormon boys, where she felt forced to “repent” for “sins” she never committed. Her senior year Chandler felt pressured to break up with a non-LDS boy whom she genuinely loved, and to attend BYU-Idaho to follow the ideal Mormon path.

While at BYU-Idaho Chandler was sexually assaulted by her Family Home Evening “brother,” which led to her leaving BYU-Idaho early, ultimately attempting to serve an LDS mission with untreated PTSD (returning home early).

Chandler eventually became a nationally-known fashion blogger at “Days of Chandler.”  Later, Chandler attempted two young LDS temple marriages, both of which ended in divorce.  In her view, she was too young to attempt marriage, but felt intense pressure from LDS Church members to marry young.

This is Chandler’s story.  Major themes include:

- Pressure to be a “good Mormon girl” (all on women’s shoulders)
- BYU-Idaho (dating/sexism, sexual assault problem at BYU schools)
- Fashion Blogging (similar pressure to be a certain way – inauthentic/beautiful)
- Personal impacts of being raised in the church ( codependency, sexual shame, etc)
- Pressure to get married (twice).

We are super grateful to have Samantha Shelley (Zelph on the Shelf) as co-host for this interview.

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Days of Chandler website:
https://daysofchandler.com/

Chandler’s TikTok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@chanroberson?...

Chandler’s Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/chanroberso...

Zelph on the Shelf youtube:
zelphontheshelf

Going Clear documentary:
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4257858/

CES Letter:
https://cesletter.org/

Testimonies and Spiritual Experiences Across Religions - Emotions are Not Reliable to Discern Truth
Testimonies, Holy Ghost & Spiritual E...

No Man Knows My History book:
https://www.amazon.com/No-Man-Knows-M...

Secret Mormon Meetings of 1922 MS interview:
https://www.mormonstories.org/podcast...

Robert Ritner MS interview: https://www.mormonstories.org/podcast...

Newell Bringhurst MS interview:
https://www.mormonstories.org/podcast...

Lena and Sal interview - Mormon Lesbians
https://www.mormonstories.org/podcast...

Natasha Helfer’s excommunication:
https://www.mormonstories.org/podcast...

Tom Phillips MS episode:
https://www.mormonstories.org/podcast...

Year of Polygamy podcast with Lindsay Hansen Park:
https://www.yearofpolygamy.com/

The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle: https://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Guid...

A New Earth - Eckhart Tolle: https://www.amazon.com/New-Earth-Awak...

Hail Satan documentary: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt9358044/

Part 2:
Time codes:
00:00 Intro and recap
4:10 Fashion blog with modesty as a focus
7:40 Frustrated with garments
10:10 What modesty looked like, judgy people
17:40 Blog and collabs, fakeness
24:10 Nannying in Utah, behind the scenes of influencers
32:10 Chandler meeting her first husband
33:15 Impact of Sam and Tanner leaving the church on Chandler, reading CES Letter
47:20 Writing an article during her faith crisis
50:00 Feeling failed by the church and god but pressing forward
57:30 Christ’s church treatment of marginalized people
1:03:00 Carrying loss of faith through wedding and is the church a cult?
1:09:30 Chandler’s husband finding out and losing faith
1:14:10 Chandler having trouble undoing sexual shame in marriage
1:17:40 Divorce, advocating for healthy sexuality
1:27:00 Feeling lost, knowing nothing, dark night of the soul
1:33:20 No one can prepare you for loss of belief
1:35:18 Sam’s question to Chandler about what sources helped her rebuild
1:40:00 Stigma of getting divorced, experiencing freedom
1:44:00 Tossing out her garments, dating, exMormon life, god beliefs
1:54:30 Staying positive about the church publically
1:58:10 Mom leaving the church, not wanting kids, lack of informed consent
2:04:55 Is having your worldview crash down beneficial?
2:08:50 Mutual end to her second marriage and feelings now
2:15:30 Religion, God, Jesus
2:20:05 Hail Satan
2:23:25 Buffet Mormonism
2:33:05 Will Chandler ever get married again?
2:37:50 How to follow Chandler, closing thoughts

#LDS #Mormon #Marriage #PostMormon #ExMormon #MormonStories #Religion #Education

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