How to win Friends and Influence People 3 Principles from Dale Carnegie's Book

Dr Erwin Kwun
Dr Erwin Kwun
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Most successful leaders read Dale Carnegie’s bestselling book How to win friends and influence people. Carnegie’s principles were instrumental in the success of Warren Buffett. Applying the principles made him more likable, persuasive, and influential. The relationships we cultivate have powerful influence on our health, happiness and success. Engaging people, making friends and building a support network are learnable skills.


3 ways to apply the principles from Dale Carnegie’s bestselling book How to win friends and influence people.

Give honest and sincere appreciation
Humans crave to be appreciated for what they do. Flattery is rarely sincere and comes from the tongue. It irritates people as it is used by people who are usually looking for something in return. Genuine honesty and sincerity come from the heart and sounds more natural and fluid. Saying thank you for something is a powerful practice. It creates positive emotions in the other person to know you appreciate what they do. Appreciating a person’s kindness can go a long way. I invite you this week to show your appreciation to at least 3 acts of kindness. The caveat here is you need to mean it; I mean really mean it because otherwise it’ll come across as flattery.

Be genuinely interested in other people.
"You can make more friends in two months by being interested in them, than in two years by making them interested in you."
Most people are only interested in themselves morning, noon and night. They are more interested in themselves and try to impress others and get others to be interested in them. The magic method is to flip things. Focus on the other person instead of yourself. Be curious about the other person. Show you are interested by asking insightful questions. When you meet a person, make sure you learn what interests them most. show an interest in their interests. Most people have at least one subject that they would be happy to talk about. Ask about their Hobbies, countries they have traveled to. When someone talks about his interest, you give that person an opportunity to experience positive emotions. Everyone likes when others give them attention to listen to them. One of the reasons my first ever guest accepted to be interviewed on my podcast was because I was interested in her interests. I expressed genuine interest in what she does and showed sincere appreciation. This technique is powerful, be careful how you choose to use it.

The Secret of Socrates
“He who treads softly goes far” Chinese proverb
Socrates was one of the greatest philosophers who mastered the art of persuasion. His technique was based on getting ‘yes, yes’ admissions until he had an armful of yeses. After many affirmations, people found themselves embracing a conclusion they would have bitterly objected to just minutes earlier. Socrates’ secret is simple. Begin a conversation by emphasizing and keep on emphasizing the things on which you agree. Get the other person saying “Yes, Yes” at the outset. if possible, keep the other person from saying “no”. A “No” response is difficult to overcome. When you have said “No” all your pride of personality demands that you remain consistent with yourself. Hence it is of the very greatest importance that a person be started in the affirmative direction. The skillful speaker gets, at the outset, a number of “yes” responses. Think about the other person. What do they want or need? Let me tell you about Paul, he is a hard-working fellow. He wants to ask for a raise and get a yes. If he went to his boss and started the conversation with the ask, his chance of getting it would be slim. If he started on a positive note by talking about his contribution on a project the boss cares a lot about. I really love the project and am delighted to have more responsibilities; do you think I can progress in the company? that will get an easy “yes. The next thing is to make the boss aware he has happily taken on new responsibilities. Get the boss to agree his role on the project is valuable. Then, if he asks would it be fair to discuss my compensations for taking more responsibilities since starting? The chance to get a yes is way higher.

I’m sure if you practice these principles, your skills to win friends and influence people will dramatically increase.

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5 سال پیش در تاریخ 1397/11/18 منتشر شده است.
547 بـار بازدید شده
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