Aging: Judy's Story

Feeling lonely and unimportant is a common experience that many older people deal with when aging. Judy shares her story and offers a simple tip that many of us can take to heart when remembering our older relatives and community members. Transcript in comment section below. #deafseniorcitizens #deafaging #deafelders

Transcript: [id: Judy is sitting in front of a wall with various things hanging on it including bags, plates and a framed ILY picture]

Hello everyone! I was asked to talk a little bit about ageism. I haven’t faced any discrimination related to my age, which I guess is probably because I haven’t been looking for a job or wanting to something or anything like that. That’s probably why I haven’t faced it much. People in their 50’s or 60’s do experience it, but I’m not working anymore. My biggest problem actually relates to feeling useful.

I understand that everyone has their own life and that is fine. I would still love to hear from them sometimes. I do have a big family. My two children keep in touch with me regularly, Tony and Tiffany. They are good about that, but they live far away. I wish we lived in the same town and could easily go over to each other’s homes, but we are far apart. Now, with coronavirus….oh my, it’s so isolating staying home.

I’ve been knitting and knitting, doing Diamond Dotz, and having videophone conversations, which is a blessing in my life, but not that often, because I don’t really have much to say. I used to be very active in my church, but now I can’t because my immune system is so bad. I have to wear masks or stay at home.

I have 13 grandchildren and a couple of them contact me once in a while. I wonder where the rest of them are. It’s really hard. It seems like they don’t need me anymore. They’ve moved on with their lives. It’s hard. Thank God for my two children who contact me often – I am very blessed with that. It is still pretty hard.

This makes me think about other old people who don’t have families anymore. That’s hard, not having anyone and wondering why they are here, what their lives are worth now. That’s really tough. I do encourage those of you who have older family members to keep in touch. If you just take a few minutes to talk, they will be so thrilled. Truly.

The first time my granddaughter sent me a letter in the mail, I was thrilled to death. Even though she didn’t talk about anything special, just everyday things she was doing, I was so touched and thrilled. It meant a lot to me. Sometimes I feel like I’ve been forgotten.

This makes me wonder and remember how my mother must have felt. I lived in California, while my mother lived the state of Washington. Every year I would make the trip up there. Remember, back then there were no TTYs, no videophones, nothing. We’d exchange letters once in a while. When I’d go to visit, my mother would be so excited and we’d talk and talk. Of course, I was also excited to see my mother, but I would be ready to go home and get back to my life by the end of the visit. This breaks my heart. That is what my mother felt like.

My father lived with my brother, so he always had people around and he didn’t have it too bad. As for myself, I like living independently and having space in my home to do my things, even though this makes it harder. Don’t get me wrong. I love my home. I enjoy have rows and rows of succulents on my balcony, which is the size of two rooms. I put in a swing and there’s space for me to do things, which I enjoy. Being quarantined makes it worse though. When coronavirus is gone, I will go back to my church and other things and I will be alright.  

So, for me, ageism means being forgotten. Hey, everyone, I’m here (waves hands)! You know that. I really am very proud of my family. Tip: just keep in touch. If you send a card, I’ll be thrilled. That’s what my children did – they sent me a card and wrote about nothing special, just let me know they were thinking of me. I put the card up for a while so I could look at it, then I put it away later. I appreciated it. I love you all.

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