I took a personality test as my ADHD/autistic self
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Who doesn't love a personality
Who doesn't love a personality test? Whether we're talking psychometric profiling done as part of interviewing for a job, or a Buzzfeed quiz promising to reveal which foods I need to eat to be the perfect partner, I've always been game.
But no matter how curious and excited I was to see myself reflected back at me, until this week I never felt satisfied. Instead of seeing someone that I recognised, I just saw an inoffensive portrait of a human being. Not surprising now I know I'm neurodivergent - ADHD and autistic.
Well, my friends, that has all changed. Thanks to a personality profile we did at work, this week I actually saw myself in the results. I'm the proud owner of a pie chart and pages-long description of my strengths and weaknesses. I'm not saying it's all truthful or I wholeheartedly buy into these kinds of things, but it does show me that I'm showing up as myself in a way I haven't done before.
I want to point out that when I'm discussing mild-mannered, even-seeming 2016 me, I'm not going much deeper into the effects of all that masking. I didn't just struggle to see myself above the surface; I also had debilitatingly low self-esteem, was riddled with anxiety and experiencing panic attacks on a regular basis, acted out a fair few self-destructive tendencies, and was (not-so) secretly battling with ongoing disordered eating and body dysmorphia.
So yeah. I firmly believe that if we don't see something on the surface, we can trust that it's taking effect somewhere else. Sending lots of love to anyone who can relate to any of this.
P.S. This one’s quite heavily edited as I spoke for about 45 mins on the subject - sorry if it interferes with your view experience!
But no matter how curious and excited I was to see myself reflected back at me, until this week I never felt satisfied. Instead of seeing someone that I recognised, I just saw an inoffensive portrait of a human being. Not surprising now I know I'm neurodivergent - ADHD and autistic.
Well, my friends, that has all changed. Thanks to a personality profile we did at work, this week I actually saw myself in the results. I'm the proud owner of a pie chart and pages-long description of my strengths and weaknesses. I'm not saying it's all truthful or I wholeheartedly buy into these kinds of things, but it does show me that I'm showing up as myself in a way I haven't done before.
I want to point out that when I'm discussing mild-mannered, even-seeming 2016 me, I'm not going much deeper into the effects of all that masking. I didn't just struggle to see myself above the surface; I also had debilitatingly low self-esteem, was riddled with anxiety and experiencing panic attacks on a regular basis, acted out a fair few self-destructive tendencies, and was (not-so) secretly battling with ongoing disordered eating and body dysmorphia.
So yeah. I firmly believe that if we don't see something on the surface, we can trust that it's taking effect somewhere else. Sending lots of love to anyone who can relate to any of this.
P.S. This one’s quite heavily edited as I spoke for about 45 mins on the subject - sorry if it interferes with your view experience!
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در تاریخ 1402/02/23 منتشر شده
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